Our Homebirth

This is the story of the my pregnancy and birth of our son Oban, my first baby and my partners third baby to accompany the film made by my brother, you can see it here. I’m not a writer but I’m sharing this because I’m an absolute birth nerd and I know some of you are too. For a little back story I have done various doula trainings over the years and supported some births (<10) in a volunteer doula capacity while living in Canada. I’m passionate about gentle physiological birth and hope to support homebirths again in the future. I believe that childbirth is in crisis in our weird western world where the balance has now tipped to over-medicalisation and standardisation. As women we need to reclaim our power and choices to trust our intuition for the safety of ourselves and our precious babes. This is an account of my attempt at that.

If you aren’t aware in the UK our national homebirth rate is around 2.4% despite the fact that as a first time mum just by planning a homebirth you are

30% less likely to have a c section

50% less likely to have an epidural

25% less likely to have an operative vaginal birth

25% less likely to have an episiotomy

35% less likely to need labour augmentation with artificial oxytocin

no increased risk of a post partum haemorrhage

for subsequent births you are

60% less likely to have a c section

75% less likely to have an epidural

60% less likely to have an operative vaginal birth

50% less likely to have an episiotomy

45% less likely to have a 3rd or 4th degree tear

65% need labour augmentation with artificial oxytocin

45% less likely risk of a post partum hemorrhage

stats from The Lancet ‘Maternal outcomes and birth interventions among women who begin labour intending to give birth at home compared to women of low obstetrical risk who intend to give birth in hospital: A systematic review and meta-analyses’ via www.better-birth.co.uk

Furthermore it is not proven but highly likely that iatrogenic harm is frequently at play when birthing in a hospital. ‘The iatrogenic risks of birth are still poorly researched but as Campbell and Macfarlane state: "For some women, it is possible but not proven that the iatrogenic risk associated with institutional delivery may be greater than any benefits conferred." via Beverly Beech

Our Experience

I navigated the NHS system in a way that felt good to me rather than jumping through the regular hoops. During my pregnancy I had minimal NHS involvement. Pregnancy to me is not a disease and I was confident I could monitor my own health. We had private 14 and 24 week scans then an NHS placenta positioning scan as was told ‘low lying’ placenta at 24 weeks. After a previous early loss I was incredibly anxious in early pregnancy and I found the 14 week scan very reassuring. We kept it super short as we know that ultrasounds are possibly not as safe as we are lead to believe. In hindsight I feel the 24 week scan was false reassurance. Obviously it’s nice to know your baby has all it’s right ‘bits and bobs’ but I don’t think I would do this again.

My focus was on nourishment eating plenty of meat, eggs, raw milk and veggies (once the 1str trimester nausea had passed!) A fair few biscuits too. As well as trying to stay as relaxed as possible!

I registered with amazingly supportive community midwife by going via the Head of Midwifery around 30 weeks for placenta scan, matb1 form and possible anti D. I had bloods for rhesus status and an iron check but no other checks for me or baby during pregnancy. I had very strong continuous movements from 19 weeks so I was sure baby was healthy and strong. My intuition told me baby was a boy but I was also no so secretly hoping for a boy as my partner has two girls.

I was desperate for this baby to come early, firstly I was huge, secondly my brother was getting married at the end of June, two weeks after my EDD and we were all dying to be there.

I had chiropractic care with Benny Mathew at House of Human Potential in Cardiff from 20 weeks which I found incredibly beneficial for pelvic pain and general wellbeing.

At 38 weeks, I really tried to get into an oxytocin bubble, cosy times with my partner and finishing off remaining bits of work so I could chill. I had some on and off period pains this whole week. At 38 weeks and 3 days my waters started leaking around 5pm. My partner had already decided on a curry takeout (I felt labour was near) so he went to get this and we watched the Elvis movie while I was having really light contractions, around 10pm they had started to die off so we went for a walk around the block with me leaking fluid everywhere!! I tried to go to bed but couldn’t settle. I lay on the sofa and did some miles circuit relaxation on the tv and did a bit of freya app breathing. I had some texts with a birth keeper friend sharing worries about not being able to do it, not being strong enough etc. as the pain was really setting in in my back.

Around 4:30am contractions were regular and more painful so I woke up partner and asked him to do the pool. We have a shocking hot water system so Jack was a star filling pots and pans with water to boil, the kitchen was like a steam room! Contractions were painful at this point and I would kneel over the back of the sofa and Jack would do counter pressure which was amazing.

I realised the tens machine I had borrowed had no cables (whoops) and really got it into my head I would need it. I found one on marketplace that we could pick up really early so at 6:30am I got in the pool, THE RELIEF and Jack went to get the new tens. 

I loved bobbing about in the pool, the feeling of weightlessness was amazing. We hired a birth pool from Home Birth Supplies which I highly recommend.

At this point I text my brother who’s a photographer and asked him to come over. This was waaaaay out of his comfort zone but he had agreed and arrived as I was properly losing my shit and vomiting. Hehe. What an initiation to birth photography he had. I used the tens for a while backwards on the toilet and this was giving relief until it ran out of batteries!! Back to the pool it was.

I had checked myself and obviously had no idea what I was feeling. I got myself into a real headspin thinking I wasn’t dilating and lots of fear came up that I couldn’t do it, however I was kind of aware these were limiting beliefs rather than an actual intuition that something was wrong. I called my lovely community midwife at 9am, I can’t even remember what she said but she was incredibly encouraging. I was freaking out about the pain and she offered to come over. She arrived about 10am and checked me, I was 8cm dilated, head right there and some bulging waters. This was very reassuring and gave me some hope that I could actually do it! I do not believe vaginal exams are necessary or even very useful but to hear this was music to my ears. I was doing it and had done the bulk of it. Thank god!

The next few hours I was just in the pool being very dramatic. Many expletives. Jack squeezing my back with each contraction and midwives just holding space on the sofa. Every now and again I would go upstairs to the toilet which I think helped get baby into a better position. Midwife checked baby’s heart beat three times with the doppler, all fine. This is far less monitoring than is there guidelines but anything more would have felt intrusive for me.

My body pushed for about two hours and I was feeling his head inside me. I had a really nice ‘rest and be thankful’ phase for around half an hour where everything slowed right down. I then took some tincture of contractions as I was very to ramp things up again! I wasn’t feeling much downward movement but his head popped out of me with a big push at 13:51 and I asked Jack to get my brother for photos as he was in the kitchen, I expected to have a usual couple of minutes until his body came out but the rest of him shot out immediately. I scooped him up in total shock and had a good look at our baby before checking that he was our boy as suspected. Oban pinked up really quickly and was doing little cries. I was very grateful to be left to my own devices to welcome my baby. No fussing from the midwives at all.

Weirdly my mum had arrived a couple of minutes before and was listening at door. I hadn’t wanted her at the birth but it was lovely that she was there for Oban’s first few moments. She rushed in and was kissing my head at my back, I was very confused because I thought it was one of the midwifes.

The placenta released really quickly (maybe 10/15 mins later still in the pool) and I pushed it out. My mum scooped it out of the pool and it was enormous!! I then had a bit of a gush of blood and felt faint. I handed the baby to Jack and asked for my herbal bleeding tincture and some of the membranes from the placenta to put inside my cheek. These worked instantly so I managed to get flat on the sofa and soon felt fine. The midwives were totally supportive of all of this and left me to my own devices.

Oban latched well and fed for ages. His head was very moulded but this went down within 24 hours. The midwives weighed him, 8lb 6oz of pure joy!

We were all just elated. Bar the pain, I think he was in a back to back position, it was the perfect birth experience and I’m really glad my community midwife Amy was available as she knew my wishes for a freebirth and couldn’t have been a better space holder. I hadn’t realised how much moral support I would need from a wise woman. I know I would have birthed with just Jack and I, had Amy not been free, but I feel the experience was calmer for everyone with her and Louise the second midwife there.

I had one 2nd degree tear which I opted to not have stitched. It’s healed perfectly.

We did three days of lotus birth with the placenta before it became a bit cumbersome so we cut it and Obie didn’t bat an eyelid! He’s the most chilled little guy we could ask for and I’m sure it was down to his natural start in the world.

Something which I must say was well worth the investment was a herbal birth package from Animama (Rachel) I had all sorts of things from her but the labour drops, bleeding tincture, ginseng honey and perineal spray were all game changers.

Obie is positive blood type but decided against the anti d injection, I had a strong intuition about this as the NHS also told us there was minimal sensitisation. I also declined vitamin k. We did do the PKU on day 6 and weighed him again, only a 4% loss of birth weight. Postpartum was bliss with my mum staying and her and Jack doing everything! My blood loss was substantial so even more reason to take it easy and load up on electrolytes and herbal teas. Obie’s sisters met him 24 hours later and continue to be obsessed with him! As are we all.

I would recommend homebirth to anyone. It was the most gentle entrance for our baby and set us off on an empowered journey of parenting.